Money, Money, Money
The first morning Brittany was home for Christmas she had a dentist appointment. I gave her my credit card. When she got home she told me about a woman there who was getting all veneers and how perfect they looked. She said, “I’d like to do that!”
I said, “So would I.” And took my card back.
Later she asked if I minded if she would get her eyes checked, as they had been feeling kind of dry and tired lately. She was able to get an appointment that afternoon. I pulled my card out again. She called after her appointment to tell me the Dr. gave her a prescription for glasses to wear when she’s reading or on the computer and could she look at frames and lens?
She’d only been home a day and my bank account was at risk of a major dip!
I try not to think about 4 months from now when she’s out of school and on her own. I’m not sure it has sunk in yet that she’ll be paying her own rent, car insurance, doctor appointments, etc.
Her dad and I have been after her for a year to pay off her credit card and also pay us back all the money she’s borrowed for “emergencies”, so that she’ll start out with a clean slate in May. That hasn’t happened yet.
Part of me feels guilty whenever I think about it. After all, I have more money then she does and she is my one and only. Maybe it’s time for a Parental Bailout? Surely I love my kid more than the government loves Wall Street and the Automobile industry?
Or what about tithing? We give to our church; maybe we should give her 10%. She’s needy.
Parenting doesn’t get any easier as our children grow. I have conversations back and forth in my head about it: “So much of her money goes to gas for her car.” “Well, I paid for the car.” “She’s working 2 jobs.” “She’s working 2 jobs because she loves to spend money!”
It’s hard to watch and not just write her a check. I imagine God feels the same way, watching us make mistakes and knowing He could step in and fix them with no real effort. But, then what would we learn? What would she learn?
When will she learn?
She really doesn’t seem to expect us to just write her a check. And besides, having debt doesn’t even seem to bother her that much. Maybe she thinks that as an only child she’ll inherit everything when we die and she’s just waiting…
I wonder how long it will take her to spend it all?
Labels: college kids, college students, empty nest, finances, going off to college
2 Comments:
I'm glad I'm not the only parent in that predicament. But I have TWO college "kids"! (My Brittany just used our credit card to get her hair highlighted)
It's so hard to know how to much to give them, and how much to deny them, so they have to find a way to get it for themselves....
Whoever said empty-nesting was easy was sadly mistaken.
Thanks for the post!
I'll tell you a secret - my daughter graduated last May. I am slowly adding 4 years of monthly newspaper articles I wrote about her to this blog. She is now living in Charleston, has a job and an enormous credit card bill. She finally understands how long she will have it because she barely has enough money left over each month to pay the interest.
It is killing us to watch, but she has to learn. So - yes, you are right - empty-nesting isn't easy and parenting doesn't seem to end! Hang in there! You aren't alone!
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