Parental Role Change

Within the period of one week; I taught a Sunday School lesson about empowering the next generation, sat through a sermon and a Bible study on parenting and saw the movie Everybody’s Fine.

The lesson about empowering talked about how our ceiling should be our children’s floor. How we want them to start where we leave off. The sermon and Bible study talked about age appropriate parenting. And one critique of Everybody’s Fine said it is about the relationships between empty-nesters and grown kids starting up their own families. It’s about parents transitioning from nurturers and disciplinarians into passive advisors and awkward houseguests.

I got the message. My parenting role is changing. My daughter is an adult and living on her own.

Brittany has always told us everything. In fact we often laughed about how many times she has gotten herself into trouble because she just couldn’t keep what she did to herself.

But it’s different now. When she calls me up to tell on herself, I can’t really discipline her anymore. I can’t tell her to stop doing (whatever) just because “I said so.” I’ve become more of a peer or a friend who can give advice either because I’ve been there or I care about her. But I can’t “make” her do something anymore.

“Don’t do that because I’m your mom and I said so” has become another one of those things that I didn’t realize is over. At one point when I said it, it was the last time I said it. And I don’t remember which time that was. Just like when was the last time I carried her up to bed? When was the last time I chose what she was going to wear that day? Was it the little blue and white dress with the red bow? When was the last time I reminded her to brush her teeth?

So many last times! And I never realized when it was happening!

I have found a blessing in today’s technology though. Some things are in print and can be saved.

These days, instead of calling as she heads upstairs, “Night! I love you!” She texts me or types it while we’re chatting on the computer. I’ve saved some of her best texts: “I love you more than anything in the world times a million!” and “I love you more than you can imagine. Thank you for everything you are to me.”

And I’m going to save them forever. I’m not going to have any of these be the “last one.”