Visiting the Newlyweds

A few weeks after their wedding John and I took all the wedding presents down to Brittany and Dan’s in Charleston. Since they had left from our house for their honeymoon and went straight home afterwards our car was packed to the gills!

While we were there the newlyweds had a Pig Pickin so they could use some of their new stuff and we could visit with their friends. We had stayed with them quite a bit before the wedding, but this seemed like a new beginning. From here on we were in-laws and of course we wanted our new son-in-law to want us to visit as much as our daughter did.    

(Or at the very least not mind too much!) At the end I was pleased with how smooth the trip went.

A month later we went back for Christmas. When we stay with them we like to take them out to eat one night. This time we picked a restaurant downtown that we had tried once before and really liked. We also decided to go on Christmas Eve and Brittany would cook the Christmas Day dinner.

Again, everything went smoothly. Dinner was delicious, atmosphere delightful: we were having a terrific “first Christmas Eve” as a new family…until about 10:30 when we walked out of the restaurant and into the parking lot next door.

It was empty!

For a brief minute we wondered where we had parked. Then we all realized at the same moment we HAD parked there and the car was gone! In disbelief we walked around the empty lot thinking that the car would mysteriously reappear. No such luck. A sign was discovered instead at the very back of the lot which said “Private Parking” along with a phone number for the Tow Truck company!

After calling the Tow company to find out where they were we managed to get a cab and drive to North Charleston. $130.00 plus cab fare later we were in our car.

Brittany was feeling partially responsible because they go to that restaurant all the time and apparently have parked there before with no incident. I overheard her whisper to Dan in the taxi, asking if he had any money. But I told her it wasn’t her fault and to forget that.

Once in the car I realized this could either ruin Christmas or I could do something about it. So I mentioned a few times in the past we had left our car in questionable spots in various cities and then worried it would be towed the whole time we were gone until, relieved, I saw it again.

Then John mentioned something he had “gotten away with” in the past. Then Brittany. Finally I said, “Karma sucks!” And we all laughed.

While we all learned a lesson to always check carefully where we are leaving the car (especially in Charleston!) we also have a family memory that could have ended on a sour note, but didn’t.

I was also reminded that it is in my power to change my attitude and that makes all the difference in the world!

Maybe having a son-in-law is going to be a good influence on me!

Helicopter Parents

There’s a new title for those baby boomers that are parents of college kids – Helicopter Parents. Apparently we “hover.”

“Colleges complain that the millennials (kids born after 1982), as a group, lack problem-solving and decision making skills, have an inability to speak for themselves, little common sense, and feelings of being overly pressured to succeed. And they blame it all on “hovering” parents.” Said Sherry Anderson, editor of Kappa Delta Sorority’s Angelos magazine.

What I find so funny about this is that from the day these kids started kindergarten, parents have been encouraged (begged!) to be involved. We were guilty if we weren’t room mothers, proctors, chaperones, tutors, helped out in the school store or sold concessions at the football games.

We left work in the middle of the day to attend their talent shows, bring them a change of clothes or take them home if their temperature rose above the norm. We bought boxes of Kleenex and supplies for the classrooms and Christmas presents for the teachers.

Suddenly our kids go off to college and we no longer exist!

John and I went to Brittany’s parent’s weekend recently at Western Carolina and there weren’t very many parents there. In fact before we arrived she called to tell us we were being shared by a group of her friends.

I’m pretty sure the reason for the lack of parental presence was that the invitation came to the house addressed to Brittany Geiger. Not even “To the parents of Brittany Geiger”!

Apparently they thought helicopter parents read their kids mail.

I can understand why professors with 500 kids in their lectures wouldn’t want every student’s parent calling, emailing and texting their questions about Johnny’s test grade or Susan’s homework.

When I was in college it would have had to be pretty serious for my mom to make a long distant phone call to one of my teachers. Today there are dozens of cheap fast ways to make contact about every little thing.

But, still, it’s an odd feeling after managing your kid’s life for 18 years to be cut off. We can’t even see her grades without her password and permission. For a while I didn’t think they even had grades in college anymore! Even the financial information goes to her – which is kind of a joke, since we are writing the checks!

The only group at the school who has somehow tracked us down is the group that sells the baskets of goodies to be delivered to “your student” at exams. They write that they want 100% participation.

I always throw those letters away. If the school is sending something with my name on it, it can’t be important.

In these days of cell phones, emails and instant messages, can the nest really be empty?

We took our one and only child to college this week. I ended up doing most of the packing myself. I gave her a cooler to sort through her bathroom of beauty products and came up an hour later to find her with a green mask on her face and marveling over all the great earrings she forgot she had! That’s because inspite of three earring holders she usually tosses the ones she takes off into the back of the drawer.

It was faster for me to pack for her!

I too found lots of things in her room I’d been missing – mostly silverware! I guess I really did have a 12 piece setting! I’d begun to think I’d only bought an 8 piece set!

We loaded up her car and ours and made the two hour drive to Western Carolina University. The kids starting college now are the Millennials. 81 million young Americans born after 1982.

An article in my sorority’s magazine, ‘The Angelos’ said, “they’ve never watched TV without a remote, can’t remember a world without cell phones and think first of their computers when they hear the word ‘virus’. Barbie always had a job, spam and cookies are not necessarily food and popcorn is always cooked in a microwave.”

Raised by their baby boomer parents who doted on them these kids were given every opportunity. They grew up feeling wanted and valued by parents who were heavily involved in their lives – even when they went off to college, which the group began doing in 2000.

The Boomers and Milleniums are tight. Lucky for us all there are so many ways to keep in touch!

When I went off to college I got a weekly letter from my mom and sometimes a care package to which she would add mail that came for me at home. My dad would call occasionally from work, usually when I needed airline reservations to fly home for breaks. (He worked for United Airlines.)

John and I were still in the car on our way home from Western when Brittany called the first time. There was an answering machine message on our phone when we got home. The next morning John said he had heard from her again. I asked if she had called and he sheepishly said, “I IM’d her.” (This from someone who’s always believed IMing corrupted computers!)

She had mail here when we got home. We scanned it and emailed it to her, then I tossed the hard copies in a basket in case she wants to touch it when she comes home.

Well, I’d better get back to cleaning her room. I thought it would be a treat to have it clean for longer then five minutes. And I don’t really mind – I’ve already found two pair of earrings and a cute shirt she left that I’m going to borrow!


If you'd like to buy my book; 'In These Days of Cell Phones, Texting & Social Media ... Can the Nest Ever be Truly Empty?' visit: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I3RK534