Dog Sitting

Brittany and Dan weren’t able to see his parents over the Christmas holidays and had planned on visiting them in February. (Dan works most Saturdays so scheduling weekends away is hard.)

In mid January they started planning the trip beginning with what to do with their two dogs. They had had a bad experience with the kennel the last time they left them and Brittany couldn’t find anyone she trusted to come and stay with them.

After talking to John… or maybe I didn’t ask him, I forget…. I called Brittany and said, “It’s far enough out that we don’t have plans yet for that weekend. We can come watch the pups.”

Then we went through all the “Are you sure?” and “You don’t have to!” and “It’s no big deal!” and “It will be fun!” comments.

It really worked out well. John ended up working with one of his sales guys in Charleston that Friday so we were able to get to her house by late afternoon to let Charlie and Ava out in the yard to run a bit before heading downtown for one of my favorite Charleston events, the monthly Art Crawl.

Usually the dogs have the run of the house when Brittany and Dan are out, but she was concerned about them running out the front door when we came in, so told us to keep them in the master bedroom whenever we weren’t there and overnight.

The first night everything went smoothly. The next morning when I opened their bedroom door they knocked me over heading to the back door, but turned around, taking a flying leap to lick my face “good morning” before heading out to take care of business.

We were in and out that day, so lots of luring them with treats up to the bedroom. (At least they were getting exercise going back and forth.)

That night however, after cuddling with them on the couch watching a movie we practically had to carry the lab, Ava, upstairs to go to bed. (And she weighs 70 lbs.)

About thirty minutes later I heard her whining. On and on and on. I got up to let them both out again, then tried to get them to go back upstairs. They were having none of that! So I said, “OK, your mom lets you sleep on the sofa during the day. You can just stay down here for the night.” I pointed to it and they walked over, turned to look at me with cocked heads and I said, “Lay down.”

Without waiting to see if they did or not (and pretty sure they didn’t) I turned off the light and started upstairs. As I got to the guestroom where I assumed John had been sleeping through all this, I heard him say, “Why are you licking my face?”

I turned on the light and somehow Ava had gotten by me on the dark steps and jumped on top of John and was licking him for all she was worth. I felt something at my ankle and of course little shadow Charlie had followed.

So I caved. I told them they could sleep on the bed with us, but AT THE BOTTOM!

Then I turned off the light, got under the covers, felt Charlie settle at my feet and Ava lay full across my body.

And I at least didn’t move for the rest of the night!

 

 

Visiting the Newlyweds

A few weeks after their wedding John and I took all the wedding presents down to Brittany and Dan’s in Charleston. Since they had left from our house for their honeymoon and went straight home afterwards our car was packed to the gills!

While we were there the newlyweds had a Pig Pickin so they could use some of their new stuff and we could visit with their friends. We had stayed with them quite a bit before the wedding, but this seemed like a new beginning. From here on we were in-laws and of course we wanted our new son-in-law to want us to visit as much as our daughter did.    

(Or at the very least not mind too much!) At the end I was pleased with how smooth the trip went.

A month later we went back for Christmas. When we stay with them we like to take them out to eat one night. This time we picked a restaurant downtown that we had tried once before and really liked. We also decided to go on Christmas Eve and Brittany would cook the Christmas Day dinner.

Again, everything went smoothly. Dinner was delicious, atmosphere delightful: we were having a terrific “first Christmas Eve” as a new family…until about 10:30 when we walked out of the restaurant and into the parking lot next door.

It was empty!

For a brief minute we wondered where we had parked. Then we all realized at the same moment we HAD parked there and the car was gone! In disbelief we walked around the empty lot thinking that the car would mysteriously reappear. No such luck. A sign was discovered instead at the very back of the lot which said “Private Parking” along with a phone number for the Tow Truck company!

After calling the Tow company to find out where they were we managed to get a cab and drive to North Charleston. $130.00 plus cab fare later we were in our car.

Brittany was feeling partially responsible because they go to that restaurant all the time and apparently have parked there before with no incident. I overheard her whisper to Dan in the taxi, asking if he had any money. But I told her it wasn’t her fault and to forget that.

Once in the car I realized this could either ruin Christmas or I could do something about it. So I mentioned a few times in the past we had left our car in questionable spots in various cities and then worried it would be towed the whole time we were gone until, relieved, I saw it again.

Then John mentioned something he had “gotten away with” in the past. Then Brittany. Finally I said, “Karma sucks!” And we all laughed.

While we all learned a lesson to always check carefully where we are leaving the car (especially in Charleston!) we also have a family memory that could have ended on a sour note, but didn’t.

I was also reminded that it is in my power to change my attitude and that makes all the difference in the world!

Maybe having a son-in-law is going to be a good influence on me!

My book is out in paperback on Amazon! You can preview it here

Closer Then Ever

Well, the wedding is over. I prayed for good weather and got it! I also prayed that Brittany would think it was perfect and she said she did! So I’m happy!

I choose to be happy about it! Not worried that some of my friends might be prophetic.

After my last story where I talked about having over a year to create “the perfect wedding”, two friends called me to say, “Don’t worry about it being perfect. Worry about getting a shower! They each had so many things to do the day their kid got married they didn’t even get to take a shower!

And that almost happened to me! On Thursday, two days before the wedding and the day the bride and her groom were to arrive, John and I were doing yard work. He went inside for a moment to make a work call and noticed that our hot water heater had leaked all over the basement garage floor. The first plumber we called said they wouldn’t be able to get the kind of heater we needed for a replacement and even if they could find one they’d need two guys to put it in and that couldn’t happen before the wedding.

I tried not to think that I really wasn’t going to get a shower on the wedding day as John kept making phone calls. Finally he managed to find one with both the heater and the manpower who could come out Friday morning!

So it ended well, but it was close enough to make me worry about my friends’ other predictions. Each told me that after months of planning the wedding, the kids go off on their honeymoon and the mom goes into depression.

We had some really special moments the day of the wedding. Dan, in a little room by himself in hiding from the bride, called John, “Mr. John? Do you think you could come help me get my tux on?” And then John couldn’t leave him by himself after that. He felt the need to support his new son-in-law.

Then Brittany started crying as she walked down the aisle. (That didn’t surprise me. The surprise was that John wasn’t crying too!) But as she came up to me, standing and facing her with the rest of the guests, she walked straight into my arms for a hug and I whispered, “Don’t cry”. Just like when she was a little girl.

So I felt like we were closer then ever. But would she still call?

I had to wonder….Brittany had been engaged for 14 months. She has a 30 minute work commute and almost every single day during that time she would call me while she drove home and I started dinner and we’d talk about the wedding. (Along with hundreds of emails and other calls.)

I wondered the whole time we packed up the car with all the wedding decorations that night.

As we pulled into the garage at midnight, John’s cell phone rang. It was Brittany. She wanted to discuss the beautiful day with us. John and I smiled at each other, put the phone on speaker and settled back to enjoy.

The Home Stretch

Brittany’s wedding is two weeks away. If I stopped getting ready for it right now, it would still happen.

It’s tempting.

My sister told me when she heard that it would be a 14 month engagement that I would regret it because I would feel like we had enough time to make it “perfect”.

And while I don’t regret it, I do see what she means.

I thought we were so far ahead since we had picked out all the big stuff a year ago. The venue, the DJ, the florist, the menu, the photographer... We were on top of it! And it’s not like Brittany and I don’t discuss it on the phone everyday. It seemed like everything was going so smoothly, and we'd be able to pat ourselves on the back and more or less coast into the big event.

But some things that I had gotten out of the way early need to be done again. Pressure washing done in the spring, bushes trimmed, trees cut back, even some painting that John did early this summer doesn’t look that fresh. I really need to redo ALL of it in the next two weeks!

And of course all the storms have made it hard to get my yard in shape. Sometimes I’ve wished that I had let her have the wedding in Charleston. I could just pack my suitcase, lock up the house and go party!

We’ve also changed our minds about a lot of things related to the ceremony and reception and have gone 180 degrees in a different direction in some cases. I was putting together time lines for the weekend today and rereading emails Brittany and I have been sending back and forth all year and was surprised by all the changes we’ve made. (Which we wouldn’t have had time for with a four month engagement!) And as the changes were made closer and closer to the event we stopped trying to get the best deal and just did whatever it took to make it happen in time. (And be perfect.)

So my sister was right. There seemed like there was plenty of time to plan the perfect wedding. And because of that I’ll keep on trying until the very last minute.

But I promise you this. On the wedding day I’m locking the door behind me and I’m going to party!

The Beautiful Day

A friend of mine recommended a book to me recently called The Beautiful Day. She said I should read it since Brittany is getting married. It’s about a mom and daughter planning the daughter’s wedding and then what happens at the actual wedding weekend.

The only difference between them and us is that mom is dead and communicating through a notebook she left behind, and I am still very much alive and communicating my ideas through email and the phone.

I love computers – you can nag long distance so easily!

Things have actually been going really well. For the first time in my life I am allowed to repeat and repeat myself because she’s just as afraid as I am of something falling between the cracks.

We’ve also been bonding every evening after the mail comes when I call and tell her what rsvps have come back that day.

But shopping for THE DRESS was a highlight! And it meant a day trip. Even dad came! And bless him for not once mentioning he was the only male in the store!

We drove to Charlotte on a Saturday morning in probably the worst storm of the summer. (And we’ve had some bad ones this year!) Naturally with the weather the way it’s been for the past two months we’ve been worried about our decision to have the ceremony outside.

Last year when we put a deposit down on the venue I asked the manager where we would hold it if it rained that day. His answer? “It’s not going to rain!”

Now I’m not so sure. But we still haven’t come up with a plan. I WANT to be optimistic. I WANT it to be sunny and beautiful so that we can take lots of pictures all over the grounds of this wonderful house. There’s a gazebo, balconies and a double curved stairway outside that are meant to be in wedding pictures!

I never thought I would consider an outdoor ceremony for this very reason. That I’d be worried for months before that it would get rained out. And this summer hasn’t alleviated my fears.

That’s why the book was helpful. First it made me grateful that I’m here for the event! And second something the wedding planner character said at the end of the book. He said he had done about two hundred and fifty weddings. Some in unbearable humidity, some in scorching heat, some in rainstorms and even a few in blizzards (in April!)

But every one of them was beautiful.

One Big Happy Family

Brittany’s fiancé has met my extended family and the wedding is still on. My brother and sisters and I threw a party for my mom’s birthday in Chicago last month and just about everyone flew in for the weekend, including Brittany and Dan. I’m always a little surprised by how large my family is. We don’t live anywhere close to any of them and it isn’t that often we all get together, so when we do I’m a bit shocked.

It turned out to be a good time for Dan to meet everyone because there were so many other things going on he wasn’t the center of attention. However he was quickly adopted as a member of the “outlaws”. (Other families call those people who marry into their families “in-laws”, but not ours. This brave group chose their own nick name early on and every family photo session includes a picture of them.)

This kind of got me thinking about how some groups are easier to fit into then others and also how people act differently with different groups. For instance I act one way with my current and local friends and another when I’m with my family: becoming my mom’s “baby”, my siblings’ little sister or my nieces’ aunt.

I’m really not surprised Dan slid in with barely a ripple though. I once heard a joke that all you have to do is have a long layover at O’Hare airport and Chicagoans will accept you as one of their own. My mid-western family is like that; very easy going and welcoming. Blood relation, “outlaw”; everyone’s treated the same.

Because we were both raised that way John and I always expect to fit into any group easily too. A couple weekends ago we went to Charleston for both Mother’s Day and Brittany and Dan’s birthdays. They had a barbeque one night and we really enjoyed hanging out with their friends. We’re used to having friends of all ages and got quite competitive in a rousing game of Catch Phrase after dinner. When the party was over though John asked me, “Did you notice their friends kept calling us mom and dad?” I had. And it seemed a little strange because I’d been thinking of them as peers all evening.

But like Dan in Chicago, we were accepted. In one role or another! Just one big happy family!

Sometimes technology doesn't take the cake!

My world (like everyone else’s) depends on technology. Whether I want it to or not.

I was talking to John on the phone the other day when I heard a beep over the line. I asked him if someone was trying to call in and he said no he just got a news alert on his phone that a new pope had been elected. 15 minutes later I saw the breaking news flash on my computer home page.

John can also control the stereo in our house remotely which he finds great fun. I was coming into the house one day when suddenly I was surrounded by the music of Andrea Bocelli. John, who was at work, but apparently does sometimes listen to me and knew my schedule, decided to welcome me home with my favorite music playing.

He does that with the air conditioning and heat too. We have thermostats that can also be turned on and off and up and down from anywhere and he knows when I’m going to the gym so he’ll turn the heat down and then turn it back up before I get home. I know this because one time I skipped! And it got cold in the house!

Brittany and I have depended on technology while planning her wedding too. Besides the normal hundreds of phone calls and emails we’ve each sat at our own computers while on the phone combing through the guest list. She’s also taken pictures of decorations she wants incorporated into flower arrangements and emailed them to the florist who can do a mock up that she will send back for Brittany’s approval. The florist herself told me how easy her job is now because the brides all come in with pictures of arrangements they’ve found online.

The DJ was booked and planned all by email as he lives in South Carolina. And like many brides Brittany has a website allowing family and friends to keep up on the plans.

But there was one thing we couldn’t do online or remotely. The cake tasting. Brittany came home last weekend with a list: walk-through where we’ll be having the rehearsal dinner, meet with the event planner at the ceremony venue to go over that menu, look at my veil to see if we could have it remade for her and dozens of other loose ends. All of which we could have done with pictures and emails. But not the tasting.

We were told to allow an hour and a half for the event. The lady was as sweet as her cakes and it didn’t take us nearly that long to choose a cake that Brittany loved. It was fun to do this “live”! The woman even said not to worry about saving the top of the cake for their first anniversary. As remaking it would be her gift to the bride and groom!

Now that was icing on the cake and something technology will never be able to do!

Brittany gets a Grown-up Car

Brittany called recently saying she was going to sell her car because she couldn’t get both her dogs and their kennels in the car she had.

When Brittany decides on something, she moves fast. Two days later she had bought a Kia Sportage and was in tears. Why? Because the car she sold was a really cute little red sports car.

Cars mean nothing to me. John is a car nut and since we had the summer off between our wedding and his first army assignment we spent two months driving up into the Canadian Rockies and down the west coast to Los Angeles, across Las Vegas, Colorado, etc until we ended up back at my parents in Chicago.

The whole trip he pointed out cars to me. And told me who made them, what year they were, if they weren’t made anymore what car replaced them, etc. (I say etc. because I really don’t know what else he said. Usually within minutes my eyes glazed over and I went to that place in my head where I could think of more fun things.)

Luckily for him (and me) his little girl inherited his love of cars. When we drove down the highway as a family they’d be talking about this car’s wheel rims or that car’s headlights. Brittany knew all the different cars’ names and makers too.

(I, however, STILL try to get in the wrong car in a large parking lot. Because it’s white! Just like mine!)

So I was happy that he had someone besides me to discuss automobiles with. But when Brittany called me crying; I GOT it! I totally knew what was upsetting her.

Before she was born John bought me a black Firebird Trans Am. It was sleek and had a little bit of tasteful gold trim. And it was hot! People turned and watched as I drove by! Really!

Our other car at the time was John’s two-seater convertible. So when he came to pick Brittany and I up at the hospital after she was born and struggled first to get the baby seat in the Firebird’s very cramped back seat and then struggled to get Brittany into it, we both knew we couldn’t do that everyday for the next 4 years.

So we sold my Trans Am. I got a “family car!” And I cried. Suddenly I was a grown up. With a baby. Past the age to turn heads. You could argue that her dogs aren’t her kids. But she would argue they are. And now my daughter has a family car too!

(We won’t even go in to how that makes me feel!)

Sharing the kids for the holidays.

Now that Brittany and Dan are engaged I guess it was inevitable that we’d have to figure holidays out. His parents live on the opposite side of the state and Dan usually only gets a couple days off at a time so it would be tough for them to come to both parents.

We started talking about it before Thanksgiving; a holiday we spend in Chicago with my family. Brittany hasn’t joined us for the past two years due to work and her two dogs, but so far we’ve always spent Christmas together.

Maybe it’s because I was thinking about that that Thanksgiving seemed so sentimental to me this year.

John had business in Louisville and a Chicago suburb the couple days leading up to the holiday so he drove and I tagged along. Checking into the hotel room the first night I saw the laundry/dry cleaning lists hanging in the closet and had a flashback of Brittany playing office at hotel room desks. She’d line up the phone, collect all the little pads of paper and pens and then pretend she was taking orders on the laundry lists and leaving messages for co-workers on the pads.

I also remembered that no matter where we were for Thanksgiving we’d try to be home Saturday night so we could roast our own turkey Sunday (for leftovers), decorate our house and then after dinner give one gift to “kick off the season”. (Usually something we could use during the holidays.)

At my sister’s house I saw Brittany running around as a little girl in my niece, Madison. My mom had Christmas ornaments with Brittany’s name on them. When Brit was little and I was working full time we’d send her to see my mom and sisters for two weeks in the summer. The first time she flew by herself at age seven I was still standing staring at the jet way she had walked down when the pilot opened his window and lifted her part way out to wave to us. I hadn’t cried up to that point, but then I couldn’t stop! It didn’t get any easier over the summers sending her off, but I loved that she grew up knowing my family on her own; not just when I was there. She has a wonderful relationship with all of them.

When we got home we discussed Christmas again. Brittany offered to come see us and have Dan go see his folks. But this is their engagement year and I would never want to do that. Instead John and I offered to drive to Charleston a few days before and come home Christmas Eve morning when they’ll drive to Dan’s folks.

I’m convinced that we’ll try a few things that will work and others that won’t, but we’ll eventually look back at these next few years as fondly as we do the past ones.

And what more can one hope for the holidays?

Waiting for her groom!

We still have Brittany's playroom set up exactly how it was when she was growing up. The other day I was in there cleaning and saw a picture she had of her wearing my wedding dress when she was 11 years old.

I picked it up thinking I'd scan it and send it to her and saw on the back; the date and "Wedding day" Daniel's wife Brittany (in her mothers dress!)

This is so fun because neither of us can think of a Daniel she knew back then and of course 14 years later she found him!!

Maybe Sometimes Means Yes

Everyone has been on one side of this conversation or the other; a child says, “Mom, can we…” and mom says, “Maybe.”

The kid replies, “But, mom I REALLY want to!” And the mom says, “I SAID maybe!”

Next the kid says, “But MAYBE always means no!” And the mom says, “No it doesn’t, maybe means maybe!”

This can go on and on, but you know how it goes. You’ve been there.

Brittany came home last weekend to meet with the photographer she was hoping to book for her wedding and also to view wedding venues. Both of these were after much online searching and talking to other brides about their experiences.

It was a busy weekend! We were literally on the go from the moment she pulled into the drive until she left two days later. We did manage to do a lot of fun things too, but the wedding was the main focus of our conversation.

It’s still a year away, but already things were booking up. So I had my check book ready!

All along she had been talking about the Mosteller Mansion, but I wanted to keep our options open. I felt like we needed to have a choice. So we had narrowed it down to three.

The first one was really really nice and we have been to a lot of weddings there. But something we couldn’t quite put our finger on wasn’t exactly right. Next we went to the Mosteller Mansion. We both liked it. A lot. But it was the most expensive of the bunch so I held out hope for the third one. When we got there though I knew right away it wouldn’t work. They did things their way and talked right over our ideas.

So we went back to the Mosteller Mansion and wrote the check.

Oh, you’re wondering what all that “maybe” talk in the beginning had to do with this?

Well, when Brittany was about ten years old she and I went to a Chamber event at the Mosteller Mansion. We had a great time exploring the beautiful house and when we went down the two long curving stairways to the back patio, Brittany said, “Mom, wouldn’t this be the perfect place for a wedding? Do you think I could get married here someday?”

And I said, “Maybe.”

So sometimes maybe does actually turn out to mean yes!

And the Wedding Plans Begin

When Brittany got engaged and said they had decided on an October 2013 wedding, I thought we would start talking about it in November or December.

Silly me.

The emails and phone calls have been flying. Venue ideas, food ideas, bridesmaid dresses, rehearsal dinner, did I like this photographer’s website?

They’ve even already registered at Belk because the store was having a Bridal fair the week after they got engaged. Brittany was a little disappointed that Dan didn’t enjoy walking around the store picking out things they might like for their house so when John and I went to visit them in Charleston over Labor Day weekend I went with her to Williams and Sonoma.

It made me really want to replace all of my own stuff.

We’d be marking a pitcher and I would say, “If you get two of these can I have one?” And Brittany would reply, “We won’t get two, that’s why we register!”

I can see why Dan didn’t have fun.

Then she showed me a spreadsheet on line that tracks wedding guests. You put the odds of them actually coming and it tells you the number you can most likely expect. We sat down with Dan and started making up a guest list. It was way too big even with the percent the spreadsheet promised wouldn’t show up. After a frustrating hour we decided to put it aside until spring when we’ll see if we still like all those people.

Next we looked at Pinterest. Brittany showed me all the boards she’s been putting together of wedding dresses, color schemes, cakes, flowers, etc. etc. From there we would click on other people’s Pinterest sites with all of their wedding ideas. It was quite overwhelming. Brittany says “everyone” gets all of their ideas from Pinterest now. In fact there’s a cartoon where a lady is telling a bride, “I got married before Pinterest.” And the bride looked really sad for her.

Which got me wondering, “will everything we decide on for Brittany’s wedding be judged by everyone who goes onto Pinterest?” Isn’t it hard enough to make sure all the relatives get along and the guests have fun without wondering what all of the world wide web will think after it’s over?

Actually at this point I’m pretty sure if Brittany is happy with her big day (and we live through it) I won’t really care what anyone else thinks.

Somebody Help Me! We’re Having a Wedding!

John and I have known for four and a half months that Dan was going to propose to Brittany. We were visiting them in Charleston last March and while the guys were grilling Dan said:

“Mr. John,” (So Southern!) “Since we’re alone right now I wanted to tell…I mean ask you if it’s ok with you if I ask Brittany to marry me?”

John: “Oh, thank goodness!”

OK, just kidding, what he really said was something like, “Well we just want her to be happy.”

Dan told him he already had her ring, but wanted to wait until the end of summer to ask her because he had a lot going on at work right then, so “mums the word”.

John thought that meant he wasn’t supposed to tell me! (Can you believe that?) But something he said a week later made me ask if they had had that conversation and John admitted they had. So then it became my burden not to say anything to Brittany about it either.

To make it a little easier I told a few close friends and family members.

Alright, and some random people on the street….

I spent the summer bouncing back and forth between hoping his proposal would live up to her dreams and also worrying about the upcoming wedding to plan.

Tonight Brittany called and said that Dan had bought their two dogs new collars and had them stationed at the door when she came home from work. One collar said “Will you marry” and the other “Dat Daddy”. Dan was on his knees by the couch.

What he hadn’t taken into account was the phone conversation they had while she was driving home. She had missed lunch and wanted to meet him at a restaurant. He of course couldn’t tell her why he wanted her to come home first or that he already had reservations at Cypress in downtown Charleston.

So what happened was; Brittany walked by the dogs without seeing the collars, thought Dan was looking for something under the couch, but since she was mad wasn’t going to ask him what he had lost, and went into the kitchen.

Luckily he got her to see the collars, got the ring on her finger and got her to the Cypress, which led to dozens of phone calls and hundreds of Facebook messages. The proposal lived up to her dreams!

Now all I have to worry about is planning the wedding!

All's well that end's well

Some day I’m going to teach both Brittany and John to start a phone conversation with, “Everything’s ok” before some breathless tale that sounds like it’s going to end with; 1. they’ve been in an accident 2. they’ve been robbed or 3. someone died.

Late last Friday night Brittany called saying something (really fast) about driving in a lot of traffic in a storm and seeing a dog running between four lanes of cars and how she swerved across all the lanes to park on the side of the road so she could run out into the traffic and save the dog. (I wasn’t listening too well because I was waiting for the punch line.)

It turns out she scooped up this 1 year old pit bull/boxer mix and put her in her car. That in itself wasn’t too much of a problem, but Dan was getting off work at 10 pm and they were going to drive to his parents’ house in Washington, NC about 5 hours away for the weekend. Their two dogs were already kenneled and the kennel was closed for the night.

She took the dog to an all night vet to see if it had a micro chip, which it didn’t.

Then she ended up taking the dog, who she named Friday because it was Friday the 13^th   of course, to one of Dan’s employee’s house; a college age boy home for the summer. He would keep the dog overnight and take her to Pet Helpers in the morning.

That should have been the end of it, but Pet Helpers, a no kill shelter, will only take in animals for a $200.00 donation.

Brittany spent a large part of her weekend calling other shelters and getting pictures of the dog from this friend so she could put notices on Craigslist and Facebook; either to find the owner or someone who could take in this “sweet, cuddly, friendly dog”. (Her words.)

In fact I was getting worried that inspite of having two dogs already she and Dan were going to keep Friday. Especially when she told me that Dan would pick up Friday after work Monday and take her to the vet to make sure she didn’t have anything wrong with her that could be passed on to their dogs.

Monday after work Brittany picked up her pups from the kennel, Dan took Friday to the vet and they all met at home. And it was pandemonium! Ava, their lab DID NOT like Friday! Friday, who turned out to be a jumper, was LEAPING over the couch in single bounds. Brittany was crying because she already loved Friday, but she didn’t want her own dogs to be traumatized. Luckily Dan can stay pretty calm in a crisis.

They took Friday to a dog park near where Brittany had first found her. They asked everyone if they recognized her or wanted her. Finally a man said that he had a friend who wanted a dog; called him, told him the dog was really sweet and had been checked out by the vet and the man agreed to take him!

An hour after they got home the man called Brittany. He said as he was walking Friday from his car up to his friend’s front door, Friday took off and ran three houses down straight into the arms of a man in the yard. Who turned out to be her owner! Friday had jumped the fence Friday night and got lost!

Whew! I guess this is one of those “all’s well that ends well” stories. I do hope though that Brittany will think twice next time before running out in traffic!

Are You in There?

We were at Brittany’s for a weekend at the end of March and then left a day later for a week in Mexico so we didn’t see her for Easter this year. This was a first so we tried to participate in each other’s holiday with pictures, lots of phone calls and emails.

Brittany is on the social committee of her home owner’s association and told us she would be the Easter Bunny for the neighborhood egg hunt that Saturday. (She never could keep her mouth closed during moments of silence.) I called her after it was over and asked how it went.

“The costume was too tall for me so I couldn’t see out the eyes. The face was plastic inside and stuck to me. When I pulled the head on it pushed my hair over my eyes and kept getting into my mouth. I couldn’t hear what anyone said to me and they couldn’t hear me either. Because I couldn’t see I had to be led around. And it was HOT!”

Hmmm. I always thought Easter bunnies seemed so happy and carefree.

When she sent the picture at least the costume had a smile on its face and didn’t look sweaty. But then I had a flash back to last Easter when Brittany came to Hickory for the weekend and brought her little month old puppy Ava. At that time Ava only weighed about 6 pounds. She was a little bundle of cuteness; all new and shiny.

Ava's a lab and when I saw her the next time over Labor Day weekend she was full grown. I kept looking in her eyes thinking, “Ava, are you in there?”

I looked at the bunny picture Brittany sent: an adult size rabbit holding a little neighborhood child and I wondered where the tiny blonde looking for eggs in our yard and having HER picture taken with a bunny had gone?

Then I come to as the phone rings and it’s Brittany who seems to already be in the middle of a conversation when she begins to talk. She’s sort of asking for my advice about something, but mostly she wants reassurance that she handled it the right way. So she came to mom.

Yes she's still in there. I can see her. 

All it takes is Cool Tools

I don’t know about you, but as much as I’ve said I want some people to change I’ve never expected them to.

In all her years of growing up Brittany never expressed interest in cleaning, cooking, crafts or yardwork. I blamed it on myself: it was always just easier to clean a room then it was to tell her to do it, show her how, remind her and then check up on her. I could be done in less then half the time.

So it WAS my fault. But I always secretly envied other families whose kids did chores.
And I worried, because if I wasn’t going to teach her, who was?

Apparently…Pinterest! For those who don’t know, Pinterest is a cool new website taking the internet by storm. People create bulletin boards around themes and collect ideas, quotes, websites, pictures, etc. that they want to try or at least remember.

Thanks to Pinterest ever since she moved into her own house last summer Brittany has been cleaning, making gourmet meals, decorating, crafting, painting rooms, building headboards and last weekend – sodding the backyard.

If I was in a grave I would definitely roll over!

She gets on Pinterest and creates her boards of ideas; living rooms, bedrooms, crafts, parties, etc. AND THEN SHE DOES THEM!

I guess all I needed was Pinterest when she was growing up.

The internet had a lot to do with the change in John also. Or at least the iPhone.

After years of jokes about men never asking for directions, they are now not only asking, but liking it!

It started with GPS. It was sort of annoying really. No matter how many times we had been somewhere in the past, if it was farther then about an hour away, John would load the address in the GPS and we would have to listen to “Shirley” (that’s what we named the voice) tell us to turn right or left or make a u-turn.

And for some reason he only added the address once we were already moving. I would think since you aren’t supposed to text and drive or dial and drive that typing numbers and letters into a little pad by your radio would also be dangerous.

Now the latest thing of course is Siri on the iPhone. Men, who wouldn’t ask a direction if their life depended on it, now go out of their way thinking of questions to ask Siri.

I guess it’s all about the cool tools.

And I suppose it doesn’t hurt that Siri answers their thank you with “I live to serve.”

Grand Pups?

I’m “electronically babysitting” Brittany’s two dogs while she’s on a cruise this week. She has them in Doggie Daycare in Charleston, but sent me a link so I could watch a webcam in their outdoor play area. Kind of like my mom flying in to watch Brittany for us when John and I traveled. But more modern.

It’s taking quite a bit of my time. I have the website minimized on my computer, but pull it up every so often to make sure they are ok. If I don’t see both dogs, I’ll watch until I do. Charlie, the Springer, is the smallest dog on the playground, which worries me. Many times this week my hand has reached for the phone when a bigger dog got a little rough with him. I wanted to call and have whoever was in charge come out and rescue him. But the scuffle never lasted more then a minute.

Then I have to find Ava, the black lab. This takes awhile because there are lots of large black dogs. I don’t understand why Ava and Charlie aren’t hanging around together.

I don’t understand why I’m suddenly so concerned about them.

I think it started when I read the book “A Dog’s Purpose” right before we went to Charleston to spend Christmas with Brittany. And the dogs. The book pretty much changed my life. The author made the dogs so appealing! I began to see why dogs do what they do and the unconditional love they have for their owners. And for people who give them treats!

John and I brought several bags of dog treats for our Christmas visit. I had SO MUCH FUN telling them to sit and shake and then giving them a treat, saying “You are a GOOD dog!” I did it over and over the whole time we were there.

They loved me!

On Christmas Day we took Charlie in his little Christmas t-shirt to the beach. Ava has hip dysplasia and doesn’t do well at the beach so Brittany whispered to her that we were taking Charlie to the vet. I’m not sure what Ava thought when we came back and Brittany had to give Charlie a bath to get all the sand off. She stood right next to Brittany by the tub watching the whole event.

I tried to make it up to her by sneaking a little… ok a lot, of turkey during dinner that night.

In the few days we were there this time I found I kind of enjoyed getting knocked down with kisses whenever I came in the door. Or the guest bedroom door flying open and having two very eager dogs fly through the air landing on top of me in bed. One thing I didn’t like was that Brittany kept referring to me as Grandma. The other was Brittany calling me two days after we got home and saying (accusingly) “I took Ava to the vet today and she gained two pounds!”

What? That’s my fault? Who goes to the doctor to get weighed right after Christmas anyway?

Reach Out and Touch

A lot of people are a little leery of Craigslist. Not Brittany. She’s not only found jobs through Craigslist, she’s bought and sold things and even found friends.

Recently she called me and said she happened to see a posting from a 25 year old girl who had just moved to Charleston and was looking for friends. So Brittany emailed her, inviting she and her husband (and dog) over to a BBQ she was hosting that weekend.

When I expressed a bit of concern about inviting someone from Craigslist, Brittany said, “I looked her up on Facebook first. She looked nice.”

Oh. Ok. So long as she looked nice and was on Facebook.

There are so many strange things about the way we keep in touch with others nowadays. We’re not as bad as the Christmas card floating around the internet of the family of four who instead of looking into the camera have their noses buried in their cell phones, but it always makes me laugh when John comes home from a business trip and Brittany texts him, “I’m SO glad you are home!”

She lives 4 hours away and hasn’t seen him in a month and won’t for another month. What difference does it make to her if he’s in California or North Carolina?

He is a little bit harder to get a hold of when there’s a time change involved I guess. Maybe his trips mess up the ongoing scrabble game they play on their phones. Sometimes I’ll hear his phone beep and he’ll say, “Guess it’s my turn again!”

They do better texting and gaming then long phone conversations. She called one night when I wasn’t home and told John all about her evening adventure. When she called me the next day she retold it all because she said, “It’s not as good telling Dad because he’s always doing something else while I’m talking. You do too, but you’re better at multitasking.”

So I tell her that he was listening because he told me about it, but go ahead and tell me anyway incase he missed something.

Then I go find John and remind him that we are lucky to have a grown daughter that still wants to talk to us! And I’ll take that in whatever form it comes!

Mini Me?

Brittany has a blog now too. It’s called Blondie by the Ocean. She put a link on her Facebook page and one of her friends commented, “Your mom is rubbing off on you!”

Really? After years of wondering why we had such opposite interests, (I like being outdoors, she likes being inside. I like walking all over big cities; exploring, she likes lying on the beach) could she be turning into a mini me?

I had to go see for myself!

John and I drove down to Charleston for Labor Day weekend. She asked us to come straight to her office so we could meet “everybody”. And we did! They all came out into the hall to tell us how much they enjoyed working with her. Her boss told us that when Brittany took a vacation day one time the office was “so quiet!” And everyone nodded.

I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to apologize for having a daughter who talks non-stop or say “you’re welcome” for the entertainment.

From there we went downtown to the Gallery Crawl, which was a lot of fun. For me. Just like old times John and Brittany got to a certain point in the evening when they got bored and started playing on their phones together while I was determined to not miss a second of the party.

Brittany had called before we left home to say that although she had a coffee maker she didn’t have any coffee. No problem, we packed coffee. But Saturday morning we also found out she had no mugs or filters. She had left them with a few other things at the condo she recently moved out of. So we made a trip to Starbucks.

While John pressure washed her driveway and fixed a few things around the house I helped her unpack and put away several boxes of things she had been storing at our house. Again like old times I had to keep her focused on the mission. Washing all the linens and towels and then cleaning closets we found places for everything.

That afternoon we went down to City Market because I wanted to buy a couple winter scarves I’d seen the last time we were there. Brittany, who already had a couple from there, kept admiring the new colors. I finally said, “Do you want me to get one and put it away for one of your Christmas presents?” She loved the idea and picked out a teal one. Then she picked up a brown one and said, “I think I’ll get this one for me now though.”

And then borrowed the money from me to buy it.

Nope, no change there either.

That night she had a BBQ for us and another couple. I was touched that she wanted me to show her how to make my potato salad. And that’s when I realized, while we were working together in the kitchen, that all weekend we had been talking back and forth. It wasn’t just her telling me everything. She was asking me questions about decorating and cleaning and what I thought about her future plans.

On the way home, John asked, “So do you think she has become like you?”

I told him I thought she was still very much her own person, but one I definitely wanted to hang out with!